A Walk in the Woods

I took a walk in the woods this morning. It always strikes me how primitive some areas of it look--like no one has ever seen what I was discovering. Other areas have obviously suffered the hands of man. It pains me to see the litter left by others. Don't get me wrong--the stuff that decomposes naturally, such as leaves and yard trimmings, don't bother me in the least.  It is the shit that has no business being out in the woods. Take, for example, carpeting:

There are at least a dozen old pieces of carpet out on the trails.  This particular piece is so old, I have no idea what color it was originally--just pee-soaked grey (every dog that walks the trails inevitably waters the carpet they encounter).  There is a mound of green carpeting that our dog Ghost is scared of, which of course, makes me scared: was it ripped out of a house that a murder occurred in? Is there a decomposing body wrapped in it? Is it home to poisonous spiders?  I give it a wide berth. I was actually taking a picture of the trash behind the carpet when I snapped this.  Hard to see, but there is an old tennis shoe, plastic, metal, Styrofoam, and all kinds of stuff that make it look like a landfill instead of a nature path. Ugh. Sometimes, people really suck!

Look, a garden snake!

Oh, wait...it is just an old discarded garden hose. There a several of these out there, too. Why? They look so out of place on the trail. But they are there, along with old cinder block, old car parts, and several old tires of every shape and size.

It truly seems like a place time has forgotten. There is lichen that looks like it comes from another planet:

and there is a LOT of sawtooth palmetto and Spanish moss:

The trails are over-grown in some place,

While other places look more like a beach than the middle of the woods:

You have to be careful of the cactus, or you can get a nasty poke or scratch. It is everywhere--just ask our poor dogs. I have pulled a cactus spine out of Suzie's paw, and she has yipped more than once not watching where she is going.  She had a big abscess on her face, and I think it was from getting poked by one of these suckers.

But the one thing that really strikes me is the flowers. There is literally every color out there:

Yellow.

Blue.

White.

Pink.

Orange.

And speaking of orange, we have an orange grove close by:

and when the trucks go by full of oranges, and they take the curve, some oranges will roll out. Then we get road oranges!

Our neighbor brings me bags' full of road oranges.

Once they fall of the truck, they are fair game. These are juice oranges--very sweet!
I spend a lot of time looking down while I am walking out in the woods. You know why? Because you get to see all kinds of critter tracks out there! There are tons of tracks of the human and canine variety.  But today, I stumbled upon these:

Millipede tracks!  I only know this, as Bud and I watched one last night as it walked (?) across the sand.  They are about 4 to 5 inches long, and make centipedes look tiny.

I also saw this on the trail:

Gotta be a snake, don't you think? Or a really big worm, but I think it was a little snake...

I was serenaded by the Sandhill cranes while I was out walking. They were close by, but I could never catch a glimpse of them. I am sure they have a nest out there somewhere.  I did catch a glimpse of these, however;

Sandhill Crane prints! Cool, huh? There is also another millipede trail along the top, and a size 7 Birkenstock print on the bottom right.

You have probably heard about the sinkholes in Florida. They are very real.  There are at least two of them out in the woods. Here is one I found today. It is about three feet deep.

Can't really tell in this shot how deep it is--I didn't want to get too close to it. If one of these can make a whole house disappear, I don't want to chance it...

I could have taken more pictures, but the battery was running low. I love walking the trails. Bud? Not so much. It can be a little unnerving out there. The sound of the lizards in the undergrowth produces a noise much louder than you think little lizard would make.  And there are all kinds of wildlife out there: wild pigs, bear, alligators. The trails run close to the lake in some places, and the alligators come into the woods to lay their eggs in the sandy soil. And since it is that time of year...and the bugs.  Yeah, it is Florida, and after all the rain, there are lots of skeeters, gnats, and love bugs.  And the ever-present fire ants.  You have to watch where you are walking as they are everywhere.

That said, it won't keep me out of the woods.  It really calms me out there.  I am, after all, a nature girl at heart. I just wanted to share a few pics and show you around my little piece of happiness.


Time to Shave My Legs....

...'cause Bud is on his way! It has been three very LONG months since I have seen my baby. I am beside myself, I am so excited! I have lost 40 pounds, so I am hoping he likes seeing a little "less" of me.

On a side note, my boobs have shrunk! All of my bras are too big--go figure.  At work, I do a lot of bending over, and they fall right out of the top of my bra. Not something for the faint at heart, especially since they aren't young, perky boobies but saggin' old lady boobs.  Sigh.

I am kind of nervous.  You would think after nearly 20 years together, I wouldn't be. But I feel like a teenager right now. Gasp! My husband is going to see me naked! I am really looking forward to the cuddling and closeness and getting all tangled up in each other.  I hate sleeping alone!

See you in three days, baby--and my legs will be silky smooth.  :)

Florida

Sorry it has been so long since I have posted. I have been in Florida now for 11days. My Step-mama had surgery last Thursday, and it has been very long week. She has an incredibly low pain threshhold, but a high tolerance to pain meds, which is not condusive to fast recovery. I finally convinced her she needed to get up and walk today, and hallelulia, she did. She managed to walk from about 20 feet or so, and she has done it twice already today, so I feel like progress is finally being made. She has been content to just lay on the sofa, but pretty much any surgeon will tell you, the quicker you get up and get moving the better. I tried to gently explain to her that the reason her legs ached was because she wasn't using them. Dad tends to be not so nice, so I handle her with a softer form of tough love. If she understands the importance without being pushed or belittled, she does much better. I love my dad, but he is a bulldog with zero patience.

I got a call for an interview tomorrow, so I am nervous and excited about that. I am going to let them know that it will be two weeks before I can start, as I am committed to getting my step-mom more independant.

Got to get back in and check on her, so this is a short update.

Plan B

They say a rolling stone gathers no moss; with as much as Bud and I move, we are truly mossless. My step-mama, as I said in a comment on the last post, is facing back surgery. I am heading down to help her and my dad during her recovery.  I am also going to be looking for employment, and bringing Bud and the dogs down as soon as feasibly possible.

I sooooooo want him to come down with me now. Even short separations are hard on us--always have been.  The longest stretch we have ever been away from each other is three weeks, and let me tell you, it was a LONG. THREE. WEEKS. This separation may be for months. I am trying to focus on the end goal, which is getting out of Michigan and back to warmer climes.  Florida is not at the top of my list. We were hoping to move to Kentucky at some point. Sigh.

At least this time around, we will need no more than a 10 foot truck. We have sold off most of our possessions to keep us going this last two years. Hell, I may look for a full-time AND a part-time job--if I lose one, I still have a job, you know what I mean?

Bud will be back at his mom's for a spell. Please send any positive energy you can spare (and I know we all could use positive energy right now). His mom's health is going downhill again. She passed out twice in dialysis this week, once on Monday and again yesterday. We are worried about her.

Bud has a double wammy. It is really, really hard for him to live with his mom. She is very critical, cynical, and negative about everything. On top of that, dear old brother C is coming back from Malaysia. Not sure how long he is going to be in the States, but he is a real piece of work. He treats his mom like a piece of shit, but she still worships him and thinks he can do no wrong. Makes me sick. She dotes over him incessantly, telling everyone what a wonderful son he is, yet it seems Bud can't do a damn thing right in her eyes. She seems to forget that if Bud hadn't insisted she go to the ER last year about this time, she would be dead. She was having a heart attack, but she didn't know it. She was just going to sit at the kitchen table and "ride it out". She ended up having triple bypass.

We have weighed the pros and cons. There are a lot of cons, for sure. Bud has to get a new doctor--AGAIN. For whatever reason, up here, once you leave a doctor, they don't let you come back. They want patients that will stay with them from cradle to grave, and if you dare move and drop them as a provider, they won't take you back. So he has that BS to deal with.

One of his medications is an injectible. I usually give it to him, but there is no one to do it for him, so he will having to find someone to do it, or end up going to the doctor every two weeks to have it done, which is a major pain in the butt for him, literally. 

He will have no car. I am driving down to Florida--all 1260 miles. His mom is very stingy when it comes to driving her car. She has full coverage, but is worried that if she lets someone else drive, they might get in an accident and her insurance will go up.  Forget that I drove her everywhere for 5 months. Forget that she is the scariest driver on the planet. We are hoping our nephew will let Bud use his car, since he has a truck as well and really doesn't drive his car much.

And as I mentioned before, the separation is a huge con.  It will be hard on both of us, that is for sure. The sooner I can get a job and start saving for our own place, the better.

Florida DMV prices are ridiculous. I was going to just get a Florida driver's license, but to renew my Michigan one costs $18; to get one in Florida will be $48. I will be keeping my Michigan license, thank you very much! And getting a car tagged and registered in Florida is just as bad. I won't do any of that until after we have a permanent place of residence, and by Florida law, residency is 6 months. At least I have a little window of time there.

I know I am sounding negative, but there are a lot of Pros:

Our son lives in Florida. It will be nice to have him closer. He is in the Panhandle right now, but I am hoping he will move South once we get settled. I sure miss him!

No long winters. Bud and I both suffer from seasonal depression, and sunny Florida will be the cure for that. No shoveling snow, no scraping car windshields in the blustery cold.

Job opportunities are much more abundant down in Florida. I won't have as many younguns to compete with down there, as seniors outnumber the rest of the population 3-1 in central Florida.

Fresh start. I want to put the BS of the last three years behind us. Since we moved back to Michigan in 2009 (with that 6 month stint back in Alabama to care for friends), we have been miserable. I want to get past this and move on. Like I said, Florida wouldn't have been our first choice, but it is in the right direction--SOUTH!

Haven't told K or B yet. That should be a fun conversation...

So that is our Plan B. As soon as I hear back from my Dad, I will have a better idea when I will be heading down. I am thinking sooner than later.

Rollin'......

Back in the Saddle

Well, after a long hiatus, I am back on my diet.  I started tracking again on Livestrong.com, and after three weeks, I am at the weight I was when I last used their fitness tracking program.  When K heard I was going on a diet, she jumped on the bandwagon.  She is a "me too" kind of person and always wants to do whatever anyone else is doing. I swear, she is part lemming...

My goal is to get below 200 pounds by the first of the year, and never have to see a "2" in front of my weight again. It is a very attainable goal, and I have got to do it--my health depends on it. I have a mother and a brother with diabetes, and I don't want to go there...

The lack of a job is really starting to get me down.  We are so strapped financially right now, and the friggin' SUV we just got has been in the shop 3 TIMES. Grrrrrrrrrrr, don't get me started on that one. I think all the major kinks have been taken care of now, so hopefully (knocking on wood like a mad woman) it is good to go for the winter months.  It is a V-8 and a 4x4, so you know the gas mileage sucks. But we should be able to put at least another 150,000 miles on the engine!

I just know something good is going to happen soon. We have a shut off notice on the electric, cable has already been shut off, and we don't have a dime for fuel oil. When you hit bottom, there is no way to go but up, right? Upward, ho--except my weight--that can continue to drop for a good long while. 

It's the Little Things...

While I have been mourning the fact that one of the few bloggers I follow is not going to be blogging much any more, another, who stopped blogging back in December, resurrected her blog, and that made me very happy. She is such a fantastic writer--love her wit! I am glad she is back.

I also had a great dream last night involving a wonder home that we were looking to rent. The woman renting the place said we didn't have to pay rent for the next seven months, because the the previous tenants had paid that far ahead, and didn't leave a forwarding address for her to send the rebate check. The only condition she had was that we clean it before moving in. We took the tour of it, and wasn't too bad, just needed a good once over and the carpet cleaned. (For the record, Bud and I re-cleaned any apartment or home before we moved in, as you just never know...).

The cool thing was that the home was fully furnished, and not with cheapy furniture, either. It even had dishes, pots and pans, etc. The only thing we needed to move in was our clothing and personal items! It was so cool, too--it was actually a duplex, but instead of side by side it was front and back.  The front was empty, too, and my step-sister was going to move in to it with her daughter (in my dream, the rental was owned by a member of her church--that is how we found out about it). While the woman was giving Bud and I a tour of the back unit, her son was giving my step-sister a tour of the front half.

I felt bad, because our side overlooked a beautiful lake, and her side would face the road, but she told me not to worry, because she and the son really hit it off. Turns out they had dated on and off over the years, and were reconnecting.  He owned a huge house down on the lake, and he had invited her to come live with him, no strings. 

Our side was set up pretty cool. The entrance took you directly into the kitchen. Not the kitchen of my dreams, but it was as small as some of the kitchens we have had in the past.  Beyond the kitchen was the dining room and living rooms, with a staircase that went to the lower level.  At the back of the unit was a bedroom and a bathroom. The lower level was a finished walk-out style basement, and it was obvious it had only recently been remodeled. It had three bedrooms (fully furnished, one with bunk beds) that opened to a large family room. Off the family room was a well-appointed laundry room with a new washer and dryer. The family room had a slider that opened to a walk-out patio with patio furniture and a fire pit, and that view of the lake.

I woke up thinking, "I want that house"!  I am in such a good mood, feeling positive and hopeful. I had went to sleep feeling stuck and depressed (this house is sooooooo small, it feels like we are constantly on top of one another).

Maybe things are about to change for us...fingers crossed!

Completion

I finally finished writing my novel. As it turns out, it looks like it will be a trilogy, so I will need to get started on the next one while I am waiting on the copy write for this one!

I am having Bud, K, S and our friend B read it. Bud finished it and like it, but I still have to fix any typos, spelling and grammatical errors that they find.  Then I will need to edit. I have read it once all the way through, but I need to do it when I am not so tired, as I missed a lot of spelling errors. I am going to start reading it again tonight, but I am only going to read 4-5 chapters at a time (book is 35 chapters long, plus about 20 pages of recipes at the end).

K is about 1/2 way through, and B is a 1/3 of the way through. I have to take it to Sue for her to read next. If I get the thumb's up from all of them (Sue will be my biggest, and most honest, critic), it is off to be copy written, which takes about 3 months if I do it online. Like I said, I will take advantage of that time to start the next segment in the story.

I will self-publish using either Lulu or Amazon--probably Amazon, as I would have a larger audience. We will see.

It feels good to have it done. Took three years, and several starts and stops in between. I may have to do am major edit, though, as I may have crossed the line between adult content and porn--I will have to investigate and find out what the parameters are.

Other than that, I feel pretty good about what I have accomplished.

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Adjustments

We are slowly settling in to new routine here with K and B. K has been in Bud's life since he was a teenager, and she has been a part of my life for almost 19 years(!)--man time flies...Bud has known B almost as long as he has known K. The three of them were almost inseparable back in the day.

While K has been in my life as long as Bud, this is the first time we have actually lived under one roof. We have talked about it at length over the years: Bud, K, S and I living under one roof. We actually looked for a house on and off over the years that would afford us each our own space, yet ample common area to share.

Things have been fine, if not hectic. With K's car dying two days after we arrived, we have found ourselves without a car some days, like today. She works part time, but two days a week, it is an 8 hour day. We were home alone all day today--and it was nice! After living with MIL, it is nice to be able to hang with my hubby without feeling pressure.

Last night, K wanted to sing (one of her gifts). I was tired, and the dogs don't like the loud music, so we sacked out in the bedroom and Bud helped K run and adjust the equipment.  It is still new, so I don't know how things will be down the road, but I do feel like a whole layer of stress and expectation has been lifted. I have been cooking dinner, and K and B are THRILLED to come home to meals hot and ready to eat.  And they like veggies (well, K more than B, but they both loved the zucchini and cabbage I did on the grill day before last; Bud wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole!)

Bud's second wife, S, is coming for dinner tomorrow, so he will once again have all the wives in one place. We really do all get along well, and enjoy each other's company. Time will tell!

Just When Our Lives Couldn't Get Crazier....

Bud and I will be moving for the umpteenth trillion time next weekend. We are actually--get this--moving in with Bud's first wife, K, and her roommate (who also happens to be a long-time friend of Bud's). So Bud will have two of his wives under one roof again!

We haven't told MIL yet--she is away for the weekend and won't get back until later this afternoon. This will go over like a lead balloon, let me tell ya.  We have been living with her a year--a YEAR! I know she is gotten used to us doing things around here. Not that she is not capable of doing 85% of what we do; we just try to earn our keep and make it easier for her. I think she has only cooked a half dozen times in the year we have been here. She has not had to vacuum once. I think she has done the dishes 5 times.   She does keep her own room cleaned up, and she does the sink and stool once a week. Gonna be a major adjustment for her to say the least.

We will be about an hour away, so it is not like we are moving across the country.  We will still be mowing her lawn every few weeks, and helping her with anything she cannot do herself. We will check in with her daily to make sure she is okay.

It will be a major adjustment for us as well.  We have been in caregiver mode for TWO YEARS. And we will be moving in to a home 1/2 the size of this one--and we think this one is small! LOL

We actually went out last night--for real! We joined K at a bar that was doing a Hometown Idol contest, and K made it to the next round! Bud and K kept urging me to enter the contest, but that is just not my thing. Not that I am not competitive. I am just more competitive with myself. And okay, I am competitive playing Scrabble on Facebook. But the players on Facebook aren't "real" to me--they are just faceless entities I am playing against. I might as well be playing with a computer. And since Bud and I were karaoke hosts for years and years, I am a firm believer that karaoke isn't supposed to be a competition; it is supposed to be an outlet for anyone who has the desire to sing, no matter what their skill level. When you turn it into a competition, someone who may have finally found the nerve to get up and put themselves out there might change their mind and never get up and all. Just sayin'...

Back to the move. I am NOT looking forward to telling MIL.  No matter how we tell her, it is going to put her in a fowl move. It doesn't matter that we are making the move so that I can avoid driving 60 miles for a new job; she will still take it personally.  She and I just had a big talk on Thursday, because she has been  saying things that intentionally try and hurt my feelings (criticizing how I cook or making me feel like I am not doing enough around the house). She told me I was too sensitive, and that I basically need to harden myself like she has. She said she used to bite her tongue, but as she ages, she is more outspoken; I told her that is fine, but there is such a thing as tact and kindness.

This has been coming for a while.  MIL has just about put Bud over the edge (I would probably be the same way if we were living with my mom, in all fairness. I love her to death, but I SURE couldn't live with her!) MIL has another son who actually lives right in town, but they are truly oil and water. They do NOT get along at all, so I know she will not ask him for anything and vice versa.  Any time he has tried to help, it has not been appreciated, and she has found a way to negate any efforts he has made to help and make amends in their relationship.  (Long back story here, but he truly did put every member of the family through hell for years).

Bud's other brother is in Malaysia.  He has power of attorney and is the sole heir, so our hands have always been tied. He stayed here for 6 months last year after FIL passed. I am hoping that he finds a way to move back soon, as I know if MIL passes while he is overseas, it will be a mess on our end. She has verbally given us a list of some things she wants her other DIL to have, things she wants Bud to have, things she wants me to have, etc, but she is unwilling to add a codicil to her will with these wishes. Bud and I have told her that unless she has it in writing, her verbal wishes are mute. The option is to give the items to those she wants to have them while she is still living, but she said she doesn't want to part with anything  yet. Sigh.

She at one time said if she passed, Bud and I could stay in this house as long as we wanted; sorry, but I am not doing upkeep and sinking money into a home that is not ours. I do know that Bud's brother in Malaysia would come back to Michigan if MIL bought the ticket; I suspect maybe with us gone, she will do just that, I don't know.

Whoa! I sure derailed my topic, didn't I? LOL I think as stressful as a move is, this will be a good change for us in the short run. Wish us luck! Anyone out there want to break the news to MIL???

I Got It!

After 470 days without a paying job, I am now officially employed. I accepted the position at the Amish Country Inn/Splash Universe Resort, and I start February 6th. Finally, we will have a pot to piss in!

High Hopes

Saturday I saw a posting on Monster.com for a management position at a family resort near here, and applied. At noon today, I got a call for an interview.

I was pretty confident I would get the call, as I have a lot of experience managing housekeeping departments, from our own mom-and-pop cleaning business 17 years ago, to running the department for a 341 guestroom, AAA 4-diamond hotel just a year ago. I go Wednesday for the interview.

Ironically, we saw on the news today that a portion of that property, the adjoining water park, is in jeopardy of being sold off for back taxes. Don't know what that means for the hotel and conference center yet, but you know I will be asking on Wednesday! Sure don't want to take a position only to have them close the doors in March.

If there are money management issues at play, I may be walking into a prime opportunity for a potential assistant GM position, or at the very least, an acting GM while they do a search for someone more qualified. I am going to make sure that I hit the ground running and learn as much as I can about the hotel and how it operates.

Trip Advisor has some abysmal ratings for the property; I intend to be the wind of change and improve the quality and the customer service of the hotel. There are only 5 hotels in Shipshewana, and this one is rated 4th. Gotta to better than that! I want to get them in the number one spot--I want them to want to be number one! Customer service is one of my pet peeves. I have threatened to open a school just for customer service skills. So many people are in the services industry that have no business serving others. They have crappy attitudes and don't give a flip about the customer. I will "clean house", so to speak, so I can hire the RIGHT people for the job. Yup--I am going to shake things up.

I am putting together my punch list of questions to ask during the interview, and I hope that I will start as soon as next week. (Yes, I may sound over-confident, but as Jennifer Hudson says, "I got this!")

***update: had my interview today at 10am; I got a call at 2pm, asking if I could come back in tomorrow to speak with the regional Executive Director. Uh, HELL YEAH! I will let you know how it goes...

Time to Work on the Book

2012 is the year that my book is going to be completed, published, and read. I have not worked on it in a long time, and it bothers me that I have neglected it for so long.

I was able to check off "complete my degree" from my To Do list last month. It felt good to get it done.  I will feel even better when the book is done.

I also started posting on Sisterwives again. I haven't followed the board in a long time, and there are lots of new faces. Many familiar faces. And sadly, some no longer posting. As in life, though, some people are meant to be in your life for but a moment; others are meant to accompany you on your journey for longer. Some move in and out of your path, woven into the fabric of your life, but not always evident; others are the golden threads that bring the tapestry to life, hold it together, and give it substance. Bud is one of my golden threads...

I can't wait for the day that I can announce that my book is complete. It is a work of factual fiction. Much of the book is from my vivid imagination, but many of the characters are composites of the many people who have been a part of my journey.

Journey on!

Whew! Glad that is over with!

School and Christmas are now behind us, as well as a visit from MIL's great-grandchildren, ages 4, 2 and 1. I used to have the patience of Job, but not anymore.  I guess I would make a terrible grandma, as I was exhausted after only an hour with them. The volume got me, for one. When did kids get so loud? I so wanted to sneak into the bedroom with Bud and our dogs to avoid the cacophony.

And of course, they wanted to touch everything, and there is nothing kid-friendly about MIL's house. They managed to get through the visit without getting bit by a dog or breaking something.

We once again played Wii on Christmas day. I would have had more fun if it weren't for my back.  It has been giving me fits for about three weeks. My weight isn't helping matters much. I need to kick it into high gear and GET THIS WEIGHT OFF!!!! I have zero will power during the holidays. This Christmas there were no green vegetables in sight, I swear. Just lots of carbs and starches.

I put in several job applications. We are in need of some cash flow, and I know that since I am now a graduate, MIL will be asking me when I am getting a job. I want to beat her to the punch!

I really want to hibernate, and it really isn't that bad out.  No snow, so that is a huge plus. Maybe we can get through this winter with minimal snow.  If we have blue skies, that is always a bonus. The overcast days really depress the hell out of me. The sunshine really helps.

MIL is slamming shit around right now, so I guess she is pissed about something. Guess I better get off of here!

We are in Business!

We went to our first arts and crafts bazaar in the big burg of Burr Oak, population of approximately 800 people. I think all 800 came to the bazaar.

They had a breakfast available, and I think we were the first served, as we got there 20 minutes early. I was remiss to not bring my camera, but a friend took pics and will be sending them to us shortly.

We really didn't sell much: 2 necktielace sets, 1 mirror, 2 boutonnieres, 1 hair clip, and 1 headband.  What we DID accomplish, however, was lots of interest in our unique items.  As people began looking at our things, we watched as smiles crossed their faces. I am guessing several crafty people will go home and try to duplicate our items themselves. That's okay--that is what crafty people do. They take ideas and inspiration from things others have crafted.

Etsy is almost up and running. Just getting the paypal and cart/checkout straightened out, then I can start listing our things.  YAY!

Have got the other blog up and running as well mymilscreations.blogspot.com, but again, still working on getting the paypal/cart/checkout going.  I posted our very first item on the site--horrible picture, as we have a crappy camera, and MIL's is broken.  Bummer!

Got a TON of homework to do, so I am off to tackle the mountain.  Only 6 more weeks--woohoo!

Live, on the road, it's the Bud and Dee Tour!

We left Alabama at 7:15am this morning. Ghost, our dog, delayed us, as she decided to hide under the trailer. Bud crawled under the house, only to have her scoot herself even FURTHER under and toward the front. Bud finally decided to start the van and honk the horn--danged if she didn't come out! She was shaking all over, but we got her in the van.

Ms. C. gave us a show with big ole crocodile tears. The only reason she doesn't want us to go is because that means she will need to step up to the plate and take care of Mr. M. I give it until after the 4th before she tries to get him in the nursing home...

Hubby accidentally doubled up on his anti-anxiety meds, and nearly gave me a heart attack as I watched him in horror from my rearview mirror, swerving all over the road like someone who was two sheets to the wind. I got us off the highway asap and fed him, and he drank coffee. The next leg was much more controlled, much to my relief.

We are at the Econolodge in Lebanon, TN. Lebanon is where Bud and I took our one and only "real" vacation--and even that wasn't totally a vacation, as I had a job interview. That was almost 17 years ago--wow! We camped at the Cedars of Lebanon State Park, and it will always be the sweetest memory for me.

First thing I did after taking a shower was crack open a Chelada. Have you ever had one of these? They are a redneck version of a Bloody Mary, made with Bud Light, Clamato juice, lemon juice, and salt. I usually add Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, and celery salt to kick it up a notch, but it is perfectly respectable on its own. Instant de-stress in a can....aaahhhhhh!

We had to pass through Hacklesburg, Alabama on our trek. The devastation from the April 27th, 2011 tornadoes is something I cannot even put into words. Trees snapped and twisted in two; tin, cars, and other debris can still be seen wrapped around trees like crepe paper; Houses flattened; the Wrangler plant reduced to a pile of twisted steel beams and rubble. FEMA trailers could be seen everywhere.

I can only say that the resilience of these people to start over, rebuild, and move past this horror was inspiring. I had a lump in my throat as we meandered through the carnage left by the EF 5 tornado.

I'm cracking open my second Chelada and flipping through the book to see who will deliver...hasta luego!

T-Minus One Week and Counting...

The exodus to the North is in one week. While I am glad to get out from underneath of the menial servitude of Ms. C., I am bittersweet about returning to Michigan. The moms' are there; the sisterwives are there; and that is about it. I guess the Fates want me to die in the ice and the cold instead of the swealtering heat. Whatevah...

On another note, I have had diarrhea for a week straight, and have been on the pot no less than 5 times in the last 6 hours. Your welcome.

School is getting ready to start back up as well, and I have got to say, this break was much needed this time around. I needed to declutter my head. Of course, that means the novel gets shelved for another 6 months...I may have it done before my Social Security kicks in--wait--what Social Security? I am certain that by the time I hit 68, there will be no Social Security. Whooo Hoooo, can't WAIT!

Hmmmmm, I think I am in a bit of a mood today. Sick of shitting, sick of shit, sick, sick, sick. Blah!

Double Hernia--or, My Guts are Falling Out

I recently developed a hernia. Not uncommon for over-weight individuals, and not uncommon for persons who have undergone surgery. But lucky me, I have two! I had a bikini line incision for my c-section back in '87. I had the zipper for my hysterectomy in 2010. Where the two incision lines meet, a weakness developed, and before I knew it, I had an egg-sized protrusion.

I shouldn't be surprised. With all the lifting and transferring of Mr. M, it was bound to happen. That for sure weakened the area. But when did it happen? Embarrassingly, on the toilet, straining with diarrhea. (This blog is not for the weak of stomach; I swear, I will talk about anything!).

The second hernia is a belly button hernia, at the top of my hysterectomy incision. I had one in the same spot before, and had it repaired. This one is on the other side of my belly button.

Sooooo, my guts are spilling out in two places. Yippee. It doesn't hurt at all, but it is disconcerting, as now I can't do anything for Mr. M and Ms. C. That means that we are moving out soon. No point staying here if I can't be of help.

This will be move number 5 in 18 months. We are heading back to my MIL's home, which is the first move we made 18 months ago. We have come full circle. I guess I am just not meant to live in Alabama, because we keep ending up in Michigan. Peachy.

School will start back up for me the day after we get back, so I will not even get a rest before I have to start hitting the books again. And I am taking three classes in a compressed 8 week semester--should be a blast.

Man, do I like to bitch or what? Count your blessings, Miss Whineypants...

Sharing a Poem or Two

I have a writer trapped inside of me. I have stifled my creativity for so long, I forget it is there sometimes. I have a novel that I haven't worked on in (cringe) two years, and a short story I wrote in my head yesterday while I was sitting outside. CRAZY! The two poems below were "in-my-head" poems as well. I should have written them down while they were still fresh, as the written product is not what the original words were. I tried to recall them, but only was able to come up with the gist of them. Sigh.

Musing on Wisteria

Spring comes, shoulders draped in Wisteria

A vibrant purple wrap upon dancing trees

A youthful playfulness, saying,

"look at me, look at me!"

All too soon, (oh, too soon)

The spring wrap fades to a grey shawl

A mere shadow of what once was

As the Wisteria falls from favor

4/4/11 Weiser

Magenta

And there was a rosebush

It grew by the front porch steps

Much taller than I

I Having never seen it bloom

I waited as the first buds teased

Tight bundles of green

What color bloom lay hidden within?

Red? Yellow? or maybe pink?

Only the rosebush knew

And then--oh my! I see

The first hints of the encapsulated color

No longer hidden from view

Magenta! Not Red or Pink

But a color only worthy of itself

Bursting to greet the day

This rose is not coy-- Not one bit.

It is flashy and sassy

She will not be ignored

Her fragrance is seductive

Not like grandma's toilet water

No, Magenta is sexy

She flirts with everyone

All eyes are drawn to her beauty

A rose so bold

I noticed a subtle change today

Magenta was duller

No longer herself

She drooped on the branch

Struggled to keep her head up

Color draining

No longer smooth and delicate

Petals withered

Defeated

She bowed her head to rest

As the next bloom peeked

To meet the world

4/4/11 Weiser

Beautimus

Okay, so that is technically not a word, but that is what the day was like today. It is sunny and 68 degrees outside as we speak. The trees are starting to bud, and Jonquils are already popping up all over the place.

I took Ms. Carol to Tuscaloosa again today--we joked that the car should know its way by now so we could just put the seats back and nap on the ride. She had her stitches taken out, but had another section that the surgeon decided needed to be stitched up. She has become a human pin cushion. Needless to say, that means another trip back to T-town to get those stitches out.

We saw lots of baby farm animals on the drive as well: lambs, kids, calves and foals. So darned cute when they are that size.

The one thing that was not beautimus is all the litter on the sides of the roads. I have noted that in the South, they just chuck stuff out the car window, or dump unwanted stuff on the side of the road or down in a gully. It sure is an eyesore. While Ms. Carol slept on the way home, I was composing the anti-litter campaign slogan for Alabama: "Give a damn, Alabam'!"

I have watched the most genteel of ladies throw a used tissue out the car window. What is up with that? I am baffled at the attitude. Do they not see how ugly the trash looks on the side of the road? Do they not know how beautiful this state could be? It breaks my heart to see such apathy. I have spoke to a few Alabamians who were born and raised here, and it is almost like they are proud of how trashy Alabama looks. One even said it keeps the Yankees out...Wow.

I love Alabama. I really do. I just wish that those who lived here were proud enough of their state to keep it picked up...

Okay, off my soapbox. I need to run to Millport and get Mr. Mike his antibiotics.

Keepin' it real!

Ala-frickin-bama

We made it in one piece, been here a whopping three days, and now it is going to do that 4-letter "s" word. That is why we came back South--to get away from that shit!

We are staying with friends right now, and are darned thankful for it. Carol just had by-pass surgery, and her significant other (common law hubby) is in the hospital recovering from a stroke, among other things. They are obviously worse off than we are, so we are helping them out as much as they are helping us by out by providing a roof over our heads.

Bud is about over the edge because the tv stays on 24-seven, and it is BORING as all get out. He is antsy for me to get a j-o-b so we can get our own place. Speaking of our own place, we no sooner get back in Pickens County and the folks that bought our old house are calling saying that we are back with ulterior motives. PAY THE DAMN MORTGAGE AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY! Neither one of us want the house back after they have lived their. I cringe when I think of how bad it might be (might? HAHAHAHAHA)

We did talk to a gentleman who has about 7 houses he rents out, but all are occupied at the moment. He said he has a trailer that may come available soon, and he would let us know...hopefully sooner than later!

My back has been giving me fits and starts. Hurts like a son of a b*tch. I spend half of my day on the heating pad, and I am keeping Goody's Powders in business at this point. Not sure what this is, since it is my whole back. Sometimes, it is even my ribcage and neck. I would say pleurisy, but I was JUST at the ER, and had x-rays. Surely they would have seen it if it was pleurisy...ugh. I just know I am tired of hurting and tired of complaining about hurting.

I am going to get my resume out there and keep my fingers crossed. Say a little prayer!

I am hoping we don't get the predicted weather: 2-6 inches of snow, and 1/2 inch of freezing rain on top of it. YEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!

Something has got to give...