Disclosure

As promised, I am disclosing my starting weight this time around. I was at the highest weight I have ever been in my life. I remember when I was pregnant for Joe, I got up to 170 pounds. I thought I was a moose! I would love to be 170 again. Here goes nothin'...262. Big, fat, 262. I hadn't been on a scale for 6 months, and I was dreading it. I stepped on the scales at the doctor's office, which are digital. No hiding it--262 pounds.

That was at the end of April. As of today, I am at 244. My goal is to lose 1.5 pounds a week. That's 6 pounds a month, and I have been staying pretty on track. I know it will take a long time to get it all off, but I know if I try to lose it too fast, I will put it right back on.

I had Bud take a picture of me so I could post it. As I said, each month, I will be posting a new picture. I can't really see the difference yet, but I can feel the difference. Clothes aren't as tight. I don't get as winded, and I don't feel as tired.

So, in three months, almost 20 pounds. It feels pretty good to say that. I think after the next 20, people will start to notice. Tracking on Livestrong was the best thing I ever started doing...

Right now, I am at 1699 calories per day. That is actually a lot of calories, but I am still losing. I input my weight each week, and Livestrong readjusts my calorie intake accordingly. I started at 2200 calories, and they slowly peeled it back to keep me on track over the weeks. I don't feel deprived. Some days, I don't use the full amount of calories, and I am satisfied. That is the biggest thing for me--I like food--A LOT. So if I feel like I am being deprived, it doesn't work for me. It tracks percentages of carbs, fats, proteins, salt, cholesterol, etc. I almost always go over in the sodium category, mostly from not eating fresh. Now that fresh fruits and veggies are plentiful, I have been doing much better in that department. I don't tend to salt food at the table unless it it REALLY bland. I am more of a pepper person. And I don't salt watermelon and cantaloupe like a lot of people do.

It will be another 7-8 months or so before I put the 200 lb mark behind me. THAT is when I will start feeling success! Thanks for following me on my journey.

Rhubarb Pie, My Nemesis

My MIL is evil. I told her I love rhubarb, but haven't had any in many, many years. So of course, she has to make me a rhubarb custard pie. I have eaten three pieces in the last 48 hours. Did I happen to mention that I am on a diet? Evil, evil MIL...

The good news is, I now officially don't like rhubarb. Although rhubarb is not the culprit. It has maybe 25 calories a cup. Wait, let me go check...I was close. It has 29 calories per 1 cup diced rhubarb. I have been tracking every bite that goes in my mouth ever-so-faithfully for three months. I think I mentioned Livestrong.com before. It is an awesome tool for anyone who wants to track diet, fitness, or wants to be up on the latest fitness advice. You can visit it here

I have to weigh in tomorrow, and then I will post a picture of what I look and how much I have lost in total. I will also divulge how much my starting weight was--NOT a pretty number.

I often get asked how much I want to lose. My answer? One pound at a time until I feel healthy. I don't know what the magic number is, but I do know that it will be when I am able to climb a flight of stairs without getting winded, when I can wipe my own ass without breaking into a sweat, and when I feel good in my skin.

See you tomorrow!

Live, on the road, it's the Bud and Dee Tour!

We left Alabama at 7:15am this morning. Ghost, our dog, delayed us, as she decided to hide under the trailer. Bud crawled under the house, only to have her scoot herself even FURTHER under and toward the front. Bud finally decided to start the van and honk the horn--danged if she didn't come out! She was shaking all over, but we got her in the van.

Ms. C. gave us a show with big ole crocodile tears. The only reason she doesn't want us to go is because that means she will need to step up to the plate and take care of Mr. M. I give it until after the 4th before she tries to get him in the nursing home...

Hubby accidentally doubled up on his anti-anxiety meds, and nearly gave me a heart attack as I watched him in horror from my rearview mirror, swerving all over the road like someone who was two sheets to the wind. I got us off the highway asap and fed him, and he drank coffee. The next leg was much more controlled, much to my relief.

We are at the Econolodge in Lebanon, TN. Lebanon is where Bud and I took our one and only "real" vacation--and even that wasn't totally a vacation, as I had a job interview. That was almost 17 years ago--wow! We camped at the Cedars of Lebanon State Park, and it will always be the sweetest memory for me.

First thing I did after taking a shower was crack open a Chelada. Have you ever had one of these? They are a redneck version of a Bloody Mary, made with Bud Light, Clamato juice, lemon juice, and salt. I usually add Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, and celery salt to kick it up a notch, but it is perfectly respectable on its own. Instant de-stress in a can....aaahhhhhh!

We had to pass through Hacklesburg, Alabama on our trek. The devastation from the April 27th, 2011 tornadoes is something I cannot even put into words. Trees snapped and twisted in two; tin, cars, and other debris can still be seen wrapped around trees like crepe paper; Houses flattened; the Wrangler plant reduced to a pile of twisted steel beams and rubble. FEMA trailers could be seen everywhere.

I can only say that the resilience of these people to start over, rebuild, and move past this horror was inspiring. I had a lump in my throat as we meandered through the carnage left by the EF 5 tornado.

I'm cracking open my second Chelada and flipping through the book to see who will deliver...hasta luego!

T-Minus One Week and Counting...

The exodus to the North is in one week. While I am glad to get out from underneath of the menial servitude of Ms. C., I am bittersweet about returning to Michigan. The moms' are there; the sisterwives are there; and that is about it. I guess the Fates want me to die in the ice and the cold instead of the swealtering heat. Whatevah...

On another note, I have had diarrhea for a week straight, and have been on the pot no less than 5 times in the last 6 hours. Your welcome.

School is getting ready to start back up as well, and I have got to say, this break was much needed this time around. I needed to declutter my head. Of course, that means the novel gets shelved for another 6 months...I may have it done before my Social Security kicks in--wait--what Social Security? I am certain that by the time I hit 68, there will be no Social Security. Whooo Hoooo, can't WAIT!

Hmmmmm, I think I am in a bit of a mood today. Sick of shitting, sick of shit, sick, sick, sick. Blah!

Double Hernia--or, My Guts are Falling Out

I recently developed a hernia. Not uncommon for over-weight individuals, and not uncommon for persons who have undergone surgery. But lucky me, I have two! I had a bikini line incision for my c-section back in '87. I had the zipper for my hysterectomy in 2010. Where the two incision lines meet, a weakness developed, and before I knew it, I had an egg-sized protrusion.

I shouldn't be surprised. With all the lifting and transferring of Mr. M, it was bound to happen. That for sure weakened the area. But when did it happen? Embarrassingly, on the toilet, straining with diarrhea. (This blog is not for the weak of stomach; I swear, I will talk about anything!).

The second hernia is a belly button hernia, at the top of my hysterectomy incision. I had one in the same spot before, and had it repaired. This one is on the other side of my belly button.

Sooooo, my guts are spilling out in two places. Yippee. It doesn't hurt at all, but it is disconcerting, as now I can't do anything for Mr. M and Ms. C. That means that we are moving out soon. No point staying here if I can't be of help.

This will be move number 5 in 18 months. We are heading back to my MIL's home, which is the first move we made 18 months ago. We have come full circle. I guess I am just not meant to live in Alabama, because we keep ending up in Michigan. Peachy.

School will start back up for me the day after we get back, so I will not even get a rest before I have to start hitting the books again. And I am taking three classes in a compressed 8 week semester--should be a blast.

Man, do I like to bitch or what? Count your blessings, Miss Whineypants...

Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Rights--Can I Hear a HELL YEAH?

I just read that the UN has endorsed the rights of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community. FINALLY! What took so long? This is something that has always gotten under my craw--the abuse suffered by the GLB&T community. It has never made sense to me why people who love each other and are committed to each other could not be legally married or share the same benefits that heterosexual couples have. Finally. FINALLY!

I am hoping that this will soon open the door for polygamists as well. I firmly believe that no one can dictate who we love. That includes loving multiple people at the same time and being committed to them exclusively.

I have brushed lightly on the fact that I am, for all intents and purposes, a polyamorous person. I find it normal to love more than one person and have committed relationships with more than one person. I know that that doesn't float most people's boat. But there ARE a lot of people who are wired that way. They are just as committed, caring, loving men and women. Many people view us as freaks. They are close-minded and close-hearted. It takes a special kind of person to be able to love more than one person.

I have two living sisterwives, and one deceased. I love them. Granted, I had my share of conflict with the last one. We never were able to move past our differences. Or more aptly, I was not willing to compromise who I was to fit her mold. I did not like the person I was becoming around her. I was losing myself, and that was scary. I don't feel that way with the other two wives. ES and I were just too different. I firmly believe that if the four of us had lived under one roof, it would have been more balanced. ES would have found a formidable match with K and S. They are very out-spoken, strong women. Maybe I would have grown a back-bone.

It was one of ES's biggest pet-peeves when it came to me. I was close-mouthed when I disagreed with her, letting her always have her way, even when it made me unhappy or I thought it was unreasonable. Too late to work it out now. I just needed time, but she didn't have time to wait for me. I will never know if we could have found a middle ground.

At the moment, there are no laws to recognize us as a family. Zip, nada, zilch. Maybe, just maybe, this momentous move by the U.N. will move us in the right direction. Maybe there is hope for humanity...

Here is a link to the story if you have not yet read it:

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/UN_UN_GAY_RIGHTS?SITE=VAROA&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Of Swollen Ankles, Boredom, and A Pot to Piss

Haven't written in a while. May came and went, and I just realized it was actually June. Don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I started yet another diet. I am recording every morsel I put in my mouth on Livestrong.com, as well as tracking my "fitness". Fitness--what a joke. It will track how many calories I burn an hour doing such mundane tasks as dishes, cooking, showering, and surfing--as in the web or as a couch potato.

I have lost 12 pounds in 8 weeks. My goal is 1.5 pounds a week, so I am pretty on target. I drink 8 12 ounce glasses of water a day, so I know it isn't water weight I am losing. I was feeling the difference until today. For the last two days, I have spent a lot of time sitting in front of the computer, so my calves and ankles are swollen. My hands have been swelling as well, and my wedding band is as tight as can be. OUCH! I need to make sure and get off my arse tomorrow so I can get back where I was a week ago.

I am going to post a picture each month to record my weight loss. This picture was taken two years ago, but it is the same weight I am at now--I had actually put on 12 pounds since that picture was taken. UGH.

I am trying to not be bored, but it is hard. I have been working on my novel, and have added about 50 pages, so that is good. I play POGO, and I try and be creative cooking. Any little thing to keep me going. We are broke, which means we can't go anywhere, do anything, buy anything. Living on only Hubby's Social Security means times are lean indeed.

I keep saying my Hail Mary's that we will see better times soon. I know I should be thankful for what we got. People have lost homes from floods, tornadoes, and wild fires. They have lost homes from loss of jobs, and there aren't any out there to be had. I know--I have been looking for six months for something closer than Tupelo or Tuscaloosa, but there just isn't anything available.

Blah.