Sunday, May 27, 2012

Just When Our Lives Couldn't Get Crazier....

Bud and I will be moving for the umpteenth trillion time next weekend. We are actually--get this--moving in with Bud's first wife, K, and her roommate (who also happens to be a long-time friend of Bud's). So Bud will have two of his wives under one roof again!

We haven't told MIL yet--she is away for the weekend and won't get back until later this afternoon. This will go over like a lead balloon, let me tell ya.  We have been living with her a year--a YEAR! I know she is gotten used to us doing things around here. Not that she is not capable of doing 85% of what we do; we just try to earn our keep and make it easier for her. I think she has only cooked a half dozen times in the year we have been here. She has not had to vacuum once. I think she has done the dishes 5 times.   She does keep her own room cleaned up, and she does the sink and stool once a week. Gonna be a major adjustment for her to say the least.

We will be about an hour away, so it is not like we are moving across the country.  We will still be mowing her lawn every few weeks, and helping her with anything she cannot do herself. We will check in with her daily to make sure she is okay.

It will be a major adjustment for us as well.  We have been in caregiver mode for TWO YEARS. And we will be moving in to a home 1/2 the size of this one--and we think this one is small! LOL

We actually went out last night--for real! We joined K at a bar that was doing a Hometown Idol contest, and K made it to the next round! Bud and K kept urging me to enter the contest, but that is just not my thing. Not that I am not competitive. I am just more competitive with myself. And okay, I am competitive playing Scrabble on Facebook. But the players on Facebook aren't "real" to me--they are just faceless entities I am playing against. I might as well be playing with a computer. And since Bud and I were karaoke hosts for years and years, I am a firm believer that karaoke isn't supposed to be a competition; it is supposed to be an outlet for anyone who has the desire to sing, no matter what their skill level. When you turn it into a competition, someone who may have finally found the nerve to get up and put themselves out there might change their mind and never get up and all. Just sayin'...

Back to the move. I am NOT looking forward to telling MIL.  No matter how we tell her, it is going to put her in a fowl move. It doesn't matter that we are making the move so that I can avoid driving 60 miles for a new job; she will still take it personally.  She and I just had a big talk on Thursday, because she has been  saying things that intentionally try and hurt my feelings (criticizing how I cook or making me feel like I am not doing enough around the house). She told me I was too sensitive, and that I basically need to harden myself like she has. She said she used to bite her tongue, but as she ages, she is more outspoken; I told her that is fine, but there is such a thing as tact and kindness.

This has been coming for a while.  MIL has just about put Bud over the edge (I would probably be the same way if we were living with my mom, in all fairness. I love her to death, but I SURE couldn't live with her!) MIL has another son who actually lives right in town, but they are truly oil and water. They do NOT get along at all, so I know she will not ask him for anything and vice versa.  Any time he has tried to help, it has not been appreciated, and she has found a way to negate any efforts he has made to help and make amends in their relationship.  (Long back story here, but he truly did put every member of the family through hell for years).

Bud's other brother is in Malaysia.  He has power of attorney and is the sole heir, so our hands have always been tied. He stayed here for 6 months last year after FIL passed. I am hoping that he finds a way to move back soon, as I know if MIL passes while he is overseas, it will be a mess on our end. She has verbally given us a list of some things she wants her other DIL to have, things she wants Bud to have, things she wants me to have, etc, but she is unwilling to add a codicil to her will with these wishes. Bud and I have told her that unless she has it in writing, her verbal wishes are mute. The option is to give the items to those she wants to have them while she is still living, but she said she doesn't want to part with anything  yet. Sigh.

She at one time said if she passed, Bud and I could stay in this house as long as we wanted; sorry, but I am not doing upkeep and sinking money into a home that is not ours. I do know that Bud's brother in Malaysia would come back to Michigan if MIL bought the ticket; I suspect maybe with us gone, she will do just that, I don't know.

Whoa! I sure derailed my topic, didn't I? LOL I think as stressful as a move is, this will be a good change for us in the short run. Wish us luck! Anyone out there want to break the news to MIL???

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Clawing My Way Back to the Land of the Living

In an effort to "stabilize", I have been trying to do more outside these days.  I planted strawberries (I won! MIL conceded and allowed me to plant them where I wanted to in the first place.), morning glories along the fence row, honeysuckle and jasmine alone the other fence row, butterfly bushes, hummingbird way to keep busy and not fall into a pit of madness.

I hung hummingbird feeders over a month ago, and we finally had our first visitor yesterday. He looked like this one:
I couldn't grab the camera fast enough to get a picture.
He sure was a pretty one, though! I don't know if it was a scout or not, I just hope he gets the word out that we are feeding his kind!

It is going to be a bad year for ticks.  I have already pulled three off of me in the last two days--not a good start. Need to start the dogs on Frontline asap!

Still no job, and I still have hemorrhoids, if anyone is keeping track.  Lordy, why does aging have to be so undignified at times?

I am heading out now to enjoy the last of the sunlight and see if I can catch another glimpse of hummingbirds.
Sorry I have been in such a negative funk. I know things will get better eventually--they always do.

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