Waiting

I have plastered this section of the state with applications and resumes. I got my first "official" rejection letter today. Sadly, most businesses do not have the common courtesy to let applicants know they have not been selected. Most of them state they save money by not sending out rejection letters. I know when I was a manager, I told each and every candidate I interviewed that I would call them, regardless if I hired them or not. I figure it is the very least an employer can do. I have been on the other end, and I know what waiting can be like.

I am still going to substitute teach as soon as the background check comes back and I get the go-ahead to start accepting substitute slots. NOT looking forward to driving to the very rural school districts in Michigan winter. UGH!

The only thing with substitute teaching is it is not a sure gig. Some weeks, I may work 5 days, some, I may not work any. The network is built so that those who have established themselves as trustworthy subs get called first. Since I am a newbie, I am quite a way down the calling list. Still, it is something. It is income, and it is doing something worthwhile. MIL says there is no way she would ever step foot in a classroom; I, however, have always loved education. I love seeing the spark when a child grasps a concept and the confidence it builds.

Even when I was a high school student, I volunteered a free period to be a student cadet teacher, as they were called. I got to go down to the elementary and middle school (schools were all on the same campus) and help a teacher for an hour. Many times, it was to the elementary school to help kids struggling with reading; sometimes, it was helping middle school students struggling with math.

As an adult, I volunteered in my son's elementary and middle school. For those who don't know what a middle school is, it is essentially upper elementary combined with junior high--usually 5th through 8th grades. My son has socialization and behavioural issues due to mental illnesses. Being in his classroom often helped keep him focused and stabilized. Part of the problem, we learned, was my son is very intelligent and was not being challenged. He instead used his energy to act out. I think dealing with the challenged of raising my son helped prepare me for the challenges that lay ahead in the classroom.

I just know that I am getting ants in the pants because of our finances. I need to be generating income ASAP. I can see how stressed out my hubby is due to money. That and dealing with winter (4-7 inches due tonight) is depressing both of us.

I am still putting out applications on a daily basis. Someone will hire me at some point. It is the waiting that is killing me...

Time to Work on the Book

2012 is the year that my book is going to be completed, published, and read. I have not worked on it in a long time, and it bothers me that I have neglected it for so long.

I was able to check off "complete my degree" from my To Do list last month. It felt good to get it done.  I will feel even better when the book is done.

I also started posting on Sisterwives again. I haven't followed the board in a long time, and there are lots of new faces. Many familiar faces. And sadly, some no longer posting. As in life, though, some people are meant to be in your life for but a moment; others are meant to accompany you on your journey for longer. Some move in and out of your path, woven into the fabric of your life, but not always evident; others are the golden threads that bring the tapestry to life, hold it together, and give it substance. Bud is one of my golden threads...

I can't wait for the day that I can announce that my book is complete. It is a work of factual fiction. Much of the book is from my vivid imagination, but many of the characters are composites of the many people who have been a part of my journey.

Journey on!

Whew! Glad that is over with!

School and Christmas are now behind us, as well as a visit from MIL's great-grandchildren, ages 4, 2 and 1. I used to have the patience of Job, but not anymore.  I guess I would make a terrible grandma, as I was exhausted after only an hour with them. The volume got me, for one. When did kids get so loud? I so wanted to sneak into the bedroom with Bud and our dogs to avoid the cacophony.

And of course, they wanted to touch everything, and there is nothing kid-friendly about MIL's house. They managed to get through the visit without getting bit by a dog or breaking something.

We once again played Wii on Christmas day. I would have had more fun if it weren't for my back.  It has been giving me fits for about three weeks. My weight isn't helping matters much. I need to kick it into high gear and GET THIS WEIGHT OFF!!!! I have zero will power during the holidays. This Christmas there were no green vegetables in sight, I swear. Just lots of carbs and starches.

I put in several job applications. We are in need of some cash flow, and I know that since I am now a graduate, MIL will be asking me when I am getting a job. I want to beat her to the punch!

I really want to hibernate, and it really isn't that bad out.  No snow, so that is a huge plus. Maybe we can get through this winter with minimal snow.  If we have blue skies, that is always a bonus. The overcast days really depress the hell out of me. The sunshine really helps.

MIL is slamming shit around right now, so I guess she is pissed about something. Guess I better get off of here!

Saw this on Big D and Bubba's Facebook page and had to steal it. Ho ho ho! After today, I will officially be done with classes--wooo hoooo! Gonna sleep in tomorrow!

~D

Good grief...

Good grief indeed! I haven't had time to post--waaaaaaahhhhh! I have two, count 'em, TWO weeks left, then I can breath again. Tonight, I wrote a paper, took two comprehensive tests, and did a statistical analysis. Fun times. Haven't even had time to complain about last week's friggin' sleet/snow storm. Geez!

8 More Weeks

One eight-week semester left, and I am DONE. Three more classes between being a student and being a graduate. I cannot WAIT to be done. This semester looks like two B+ grades--damn. I am disappointed, but with everything we have been dealing with regarding MIL, I am not going to beat myself up.

I am making a turkey breast with all the trimmings for supper. MIL is looking forward to it--me too. I have problems and a final exam yet to take today, then I am going to rest for the remains of the day.

I am going to have a crafting blog up and running soon displaying all the items MIL and I have made that we are selling. I have been working on my ties--pretty cute, if I do say so myself. Check out the pics below:

Far left: pins

left: barrets and hair clips

Right and below: ties with matching

pins-sorry, the pics aren't the best!

What the What?!?!?!?!

I am taking a finance class this semester, one that I previously gave up in around the 4th week and took a big fat "F" in as a result. I took it last year when my FIL committed suicide, and dealing with that took too much out of me to even think about completing the class.

This time around, I am trying hard to stay focused on it. Not an easy task. We are now talking about the time value of money--in other words, taking advantage of investing opportunities and discounts. I find myself completely lost most of the time, and I ask LOTS of questions. I am sure the professor thinks I am a total idiot: "So, Ms. Weiser, you want to go into the business field? I would advise getting an accountant to help you out..."

Okay, he didn't say that, but boy, do I feel like I am just not getting it! I will be glad when this class is over. I will be glad when ALL my classes are over for a while. I keep telling myself that I will go back and get my MBA at some point, but do I really need to pursue a masters when I am approaching my geriatric years? I will never be a Donald Trump, but I would like to think that my education is an investment that will lead to a greater return in the future. Gee, maybe I am getting this concept of the time value of money...they sure are taking enough of it right now!

We are Broke with a capital "B" right now--can't even run to town to buy a paper, as we don't have the gas to burn, and we don't have the 75 cents for a paper. BUT--we have a roof over our heads, and there is food in the house, so I am NOT bitchin'. It just feels aweful to have no money in the bank, no money in my billfold, and social security benefits are drying up faster than a rain puddle in mid-August. Let's not go there. My mental health is hanging by a thread these days, and I don't have the dexterity anymore to tie a knot...

Term Papers--an experiment with procrastination

Well, one term paper down, one to go. They were both assigned 3 weeks ago, and both are due tomorrow by midnight. I had every intention of not waiting until the last conceivable minute to do them, and honestly, I did better this time than I have ever done in the past.

I actually did start researching my papers two weeks ago, saving links to websites I thought I could use in folders labeled for each class. That is something I haven't done before. When it comes to actually writing, however, I always, ALWAYS wait until the 11th hour to get them done.

I don't know why I do it. The stress builds until I think my head is going to explode. But it has become a ritual of mine. A few semesters ago, I wrote one paper two hours before it was due. I got a 94% on it. I didn't even spell/grammar check it, as I got it done two minutes before it was due, so I just submitted it as is.

I told Bud that I think I could do term paper writing for a living. No joke. No matter how much of a rush job I do, I always get a 90% or better on my papers. I actually like the research, and I like composing. I think I even like a little bull-sh*ting, too, to amuse myself. So why wait until the last minute?

I think it has something to do with liking challenges. Spending 3 weeks researching and writing a paper is not a challenge. Getting a quality, 3000 word paper done in 3 days, now THAT is a challenge! Unfortunately, as my previous posts confirms, it also ads beau coup stress and anxiety, not to mention loss of sleep. (thank you, hubby, for the sleeping pill last night. I slept soundly--but boy, did I have some strange dreams!)

As you can see, I am procrastinating as we speak. The other paper still needs to be written. I have already taken two breaks--one to vacuum the house and put up a broom/mop organizer, the other to make myself some lunch. Bud and MIL went to an RV show to give me some quiet, focused time to get my work done, and it has helped immensely. Still hasn't stopped me from procrastinating.

Sigh. Okay, okay, I am heading back to the other computer terminal to get the other paper going. (it is technically started, I have several websites bookmarked.)

***I got a 99.6% on my first paper. Did I not tell you I am a paper writing fool? Just turned in my second term paper at 10:35pm Sunday--it had to be in by 11:59pm. Look how much time I had left!***
***100% on my second term paper. nuf said...***

Insomnia

I really, really, REALLY want to be asleep right now. This is day three of insomnia. I am dog tired, but as soon as I hit the bed, my mind starts to race, and I get jittery. I can feel every corpuscle in my body, and it is driving me insane.

I literally can feel the blood flowing through my veins. I am stressed, because I have two HUGE term papers due, and I have zero alone time except at night when I am too tired to focus on that shit. So I instead toss and turn in bed and think, "maybe Bud will sleep in, and I can get my butt up as soon as MIL leaves for dialysis. That will give me 5 hours of uninterrupted computer time."

My plan had been to go to the library on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I wasn't being distracted. Unfortunately, being broke and having the van running iffy at best has prevented me from going.

I can already see my obit: "...died from stressing out over term papers."

I feel sick to my stomach, and I feel like my body is humming like a taught wire. NOT a good feeling. I took a muscle relaxant, as it usually knocks me out. Hell, it didn't even help the pain, let alone put me out.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr! My jaw hurts from being clenched. Stress much?

Hubby just got up to pee. I envy his snoring. I should have taken a nap today--then I would be fresh enough to tackle some homework.

Geez, am I a whiner or what?

Yard Sale Hell

MIL had the great idea to do a yard sale this weekend. It has been in the 90's for a week, and the humidity is through the roof. PERFECT! My ultra pale, burns in minutes skin will LOVE being exposed for two days...

In preparation, she dragged out bags and boxes, or rather, my nephew and SIL dragged out bags and boxes, from the shed. Most had mouse turds or mouse pee, and they reeked. Special! We are putting more time in to cleaning the sh-- I mean treasures up than they are worth. Seriously, she has so many chotchkies it is ridiculous. Oh, for those who have never heard of a chotchkie, Urban Dictionary defines it as the following:
"A small piece of worthless crap, a decorative knick knack with little or no purpose. Side note: Chotchkie can be pretty, sentimental, or even occasionally useful though it usually breaks easily if useful. If you are having trouble identifying Chotchkie just look around your house or someone else's and whatever you see that a burglar wouldn't steal is probably Chotchkie.
Fake fruit, a ceramic frog containing candy, pretty much anything purchased at a dollar store, costume jewelry, etc."

Amen, Urban Dictionary. Amen. Worthless crap indeed. Heck, the mouse turds have more value than some of the sh-- I mean, treasures, she is trying to sell. We spent hours pricing all that crap, and the whole while I am thinking, "Put it all on the front lawn with a giant "FREE" sign and be done with it." Dang, can you tell this is getting on my last nerve?

Don't get me wrong. I do love my MIL. She just comes up with "great ideas" that translate into lots and lots of pointless work. She will sell a few things, I am sure. Like the motorcycle leather coat, pants, and chaps, and the motorcycle intercom system. The rest? She should have just rented a dumpster. I'm just sayin'...

I have a ton of homework to do, and I have been spending more time lugging, washing, labeling, and cussing than I care to admit. On a positive note, my hubby is taking one for the Gipper, as they say. He is going with MIL to Amish Acres tomorrow morning. Acres and acres of vendors, set up in an open field on a hot, humid day. She really wants to go, but Bud knew that I had all this homework to get done, so he is going with her and leaving me home in the peace and quiet. Oh, how I love that man!

If there is a Hell, and I end up there, I will probably be stuck labeling chotchkies...

T-Minus One Week and Counting...

The exodus to the North is in one week. While I am glad to get out from underneath of the menial servitude of Ms. C., I am bittersweet about returning to Michigan. The moms' are there; the sisterwives are there; and that is about it. I guess the Fates want me to die in the ice and the cold instead of the swealtering heat. Whatevah...

On another note, I have had diarrhea for a week straight, and have been on the pot no less than 5 times in the last 6 hours. Your welcome.

School is getting ready to start back up as well, and I have got to say, this break was much needed this time around. I needed to declutter my head. Of course, that means the novel gets shelved for another 6 months...I may have it done before my Social Security kicks in--wait--what Social Security? I am certain that by the time I hit 68, there will be no Social Security. Whooo Hoooo, can't WAIT!

Hmmmmm, I think I am in a bit of a mood today. Sick of shitting, sick of shit, sick, sick, sick. Blah!

Double Hernia--or, My Guts are Falling Out

I recently developed a hernia. Not uncommon for over-weight individuals, and not uncommon for persons who have undergone surgery. But lucky me, I have two! I had a bikini line incision for my c-section back in '87. I had the zipper for my hysterectomy in 2010. Where the two incision lines meet, a weakness developed, and before I knew it, I had an egg-sized protrusion.

I shouldn't be surprised. With all the lifting and transferring of Mr. M, it was bound to happen. That for sure weakened the area. But when did it happen? Embarrassingly, on the toilet, straining with diarrhea. (This blog is not for the weak of stomach; I swear, I will talk about anything!).

The second hernia is a belly button hernia, at the top of my hysterectomy incision. I had one in the same spot before, and had it repaired. This one is on the other side of my belly button.

Sooooo, my guts are spilling out in two places. Yippee. It doesn't hurt at all, but it is disconcerting, as now I can't do anything for Mr. M and Ms. C. That means that we are moving out soon. No point staying here if I can't be of help.

This will be move number 5 in 18 months. We are heading back to my MIL's home, which is the first move we made 18 months ago. We have come full circle. I guess I am just not meant to live in Alabama, because we keep ending up in Michigan. Peachy.

School will start back up for me the day after we get back, so I will not even get a rest before I have to start hitting the books again. And I am taking three classes in a compressed 8 week semester--should be a blast.

Man, do I like to bitch or what? Count your blessings, Miss Whineypants...

Giant Woody

Okay, mind out of the gutter for a moment. On this overcast Easter morning, I was reading all the blogs I follow when I caught sight of something BIG out of the corner of my eye.

The computer is in the kitchen, and there is a glass slider door off to the side. The BIG something was one of these:

I tried to take a picture of it, but the bird was camera shy and I couuldn't get a good shot. Soooo, I went to my source for everything, the World Wide Web, and discovered that the huge woodpecker is, in fact, a Pileated Woodpecker. I learned that over the last 2 centuries, their numbers greatly declined with the increase in logging, but the ingenious birds have learned to adapt and are making a comeback. Yeah!

These birds are beautiful, and I am so glad I got to see one up close. It is larger than a crow, but not as big as the buzzards that seem to be everywhere (ugh).

It is wonderfully quiet right now. Not like 3 hours ago at 6am, when the yipping dog from hell woke me up. Dixie is a bona-fide bitch. She is a shih tzu, but I just call her a shit. Grrrrrrrrrr!

I guess I can't complain, as it got my butt out of bed so that I would be up to see the giant woody. And I had computer time to not only post this post, but to get my essay assignment turned in--yay me!

The honeysuckle is in bloom, so I shant stay mad long. I do get grumpy when I miss my beauty sleep....

Happy Easter, everyone.

A Day to Ourselves

Hubby and I had a much needed day away. We got a room at a motel in Columbus, left the house around noon, and didn't return until noon the yesterday.

We shopped, we ate a wonderful supper with about 100 other hungry people, snuggled, watch some Big Love, took long soaks in the tub, and SLEPT. Didn't get to sleep in like I wanted, but the bed was HEAVEN--soooooooo comfortable. Didn't wake up achey and stiff like I usually do on the mattress from Hell that we are sleeping on now.

Thank you, my darling, for a wonderful day away!

And more good news: the heart surgeon cut Ms. Carol loose yesterday! She is allowed to drive now, so no more toting her around to appointments. YAY! She get the stitches out tomorrow, and hopefully will be given the thumbs up to do whatever activity she wants.

Mr. Mike got toasted last night. Fell down twice, knocking off a big chunk of skin in the meantime. Mr. Mike does like his beer....

New semester started, and I am hoping that I do better this semester than I did last semester (more later when I get my official grades).

Happy Fat Tuesday, Y'all!!!!!!!

Please Let this be the last...

These are pictures from just three days ago. The last of it just melted. Hell, we came to Alabama to get AWAY from this shit! Instead, Alabama is getting more snow than they have in ages. We lived here for 10 years, and we didn't have any snow that actually lasted more than a day during that entire time period, and it was never more than an inch deep; this year, we have had three snows that have stuck around for two days or more. UGH!


We had just returned from taking Ms. Carol to her umpteenth appointment in T-town Wednesday when the skies opened and it began to snow like there was no tomorrow.
Well, there was a tomorrow, and this is what it looked like on Thursday morning:



Sorry for not rotating the last image, but I wanted to include it to show that there was over 4 inches of snow on the ground. Geez!

Carol and I went and got our hair cut in Columbus on Thursday afternoon. She treated as a thank you for all our help. I had the stylist lop off about 4 inches. Sure felt good to have those old dead ends off! My hair is now shoulder length again. I colored it today, so it is like a whole new head of hair!

The boys went off today. I have a ton of reading to do, and Ms. Carol didn't want to go if I wasn't going. I hope they are having fun. I know Mr. Mike can kind of be a demanding pain in the butt, but I think it is good for both of them to have some time away from their "old ladies".

Felt like taking a much needed break before my brain explodes from my statistics chapter on finding margin of error in a sample population. Do I know what that even means?

I made a yummy supper of purple hulls, cornbread, and turnip greens. Mmmmmmmmm. Also made two round white cakes: one plain for Bud, and the other I am going to fancy up with cherry pie filling and whipped cream.

Looking forward to the 70 degrees that is predicted for Thursday. Now THAT is what I am talking about!

With a Capital "T"

Tired, that is. We carried Carol to Tuscaloosa yesterday to have her staples removed. Any trip to T-town is an all day event, as it is 45 miles one way. Plus we stopped for lunch afterwards. And we had to fill scripts. Long day. Then Carol gets a call today that Mike needs to go to Columbus stat to be checked, as his blood check yesterday was way too thin.

It is much harder to tote Mr. Mike, as he had a stroke and is dead weight. With my back, I was not much help today at all. Thank god for hubby. I could not have made either trip without him. I am trying to not let my back keep me from helping out, and I am trying not to be a big baby when it hurts.

Columbus is only 30 minutes from here. We left at 10:30am, and didn't get home until 3pm. The rest of the time was spent sitting and waiting. M had a blood drawn and a brief consult with the oncologist. Bud was awesome and went back with him. I sat in the waiting room, close to committing hare kare listening to the onslaught of negative news. There was absolutely nothing positive: housing crisis; social security crisis; floods and high death tolls in Brazil and Australia; pending food shortages due to said flooding; shooting in Tucson, AZ; pending nation-wide teacher's strike....it goes on and on ad naseum. Isn't there anything GOOD going on in the world, dammit? Sitting in a waiting room full of sick cancer patients, listening to that doom and gloom crap....

I am procrastinating doing my homework assignment. Statistics. YAWN! I reckon I best do it, though. Wishing I had more time to write...