Just When Our Lives Couldn't Get Crazier....

Bud and I will be moving for the umpteenth trillion time next weekend. We are actually--get this--moving in with Bud's first wife, K, and her roommate (who also happens to be a long-time friend of Bud's). So Bud will have two of his wives under one roof again!

We haven't told MIL yet--she is away for the weekend and won't get back until later this afternoon. This will go over like a lead balloon, let me tell ya.  We have been living with her a year--a YEAR! I know she is gotten used to us doing things around here. Not that she is not capable of doing 85% of what we do; we just try to earn our keep and make it easier for her. I think she has only cooked a half dozen times in the year we have been here. She has not had to vacuum once. I think she has done the dishes 5 times.   She does keep her own room cleaned up, and she does the sink and stool once a week. Gonna be a major adjustment for her to say the least.

We will be about an hour away, so it is not like we are moving across the country.  We will still be mowing her lawn every few weeks, and helping her with anything she cannot do herself. We will check in with her daily to make sure she is okay.

It will be a major adjustment for us as well.  We have been in caregiver mode for TWO YEARS. And we will be moving in to a home 1/2 the size of this one--and we think this one is small! LOL

We actually went out last night--for real! We joined K at a bar that was doing a Hometown Idol contest, and K made it to the next round! Bud and K kept urging me to enter the contest, but that is just not my thing. Not that I am not competitive. I am just more competitive with myself. And okay, I am competitive playing Scrabble on Facebook. But the players on Facebook aren't "real" to me--they are just faceless entities I am playing against. I might as well be playing with a computer. And since Bud and I were karaoke hosts for years and years, I am a firm believer that karaoke isn't supposed to be a competition; it is supposed to be an outlet for anyone who has the desire to sing, no matter what their skill level. When you turn it into a competition, someone who may have finally found the nerve to get up and put themselves out there might change their mind and never get up and all. Just sayin'...

Back to the move. I am NOT looking forward to telling MIL.  No matter how we tell her, it is going to put her in a fowl move. It doesn't matter that we are making the move so that I can avoid driving 60 miles for a new job; she will still take it personally.  She and I just had a big talk on Thursday, because she has been  saying things that intentionally try and hurt my feelings (criticizing how I cook or making me feel like I am not doing enough around the house). She told me I was too sensitive, and that I basically need to harden myself like she has. She said she used to bite her tongue, but as she ages, she is more outspoken; I told her that is fine, but there is such a thing as tact and kindness.

This has been coming for a while.  MIL has just about put Bud over the edge (I would probably be the same way if we were living with my mom, in all fairness. I love her to death, but I SURE couldn't live with her!) MIL has another son who actually lives right in town, but they are truly oil and water. They do NOT get along at all, so I know she will not ask him for anything and vice versa.  Any time he has tried to help, it has not been appreciated, and she has found a way to negate any efforts he has made to help and make amends in their relationship.  (Long back story here, but he truly did put every member of the family through hell for years).

Bud's other brother is in Malaysia.  He has power of attorney and is the sole heir, so our hands have always been tied. He stayed here for 6 months last year after FIL passed. I am hoping that he finds a way to move back soon, as I know if MIL passes while he is overseas, it will be a mess on our end. She has verbally given us a list of some things she wants her other DIL to have, things she wants Bud to have, things she wants me to have, etc, but she is unwilling to add a codicil to her will with these wishes. Bud and I have told her that unless she has it in writing, her verbal wishes are mute. The option is to give the items to those she wants to have them while she is still living, but she said she doesn't want to part with anything  yet. Sigh.

She at one time said if she passed, Bud and I could stay in this house as long as we wanted; sorry, but I am not doing upkeep and sinking money into a home that is not ours. I do know that Bud's brother in Malaysia would come back to Michigan if MIL bought the ticket; I suspect maybe with us gone, she will do just that, I don't know.

Whoa! I sure derailed my topic, didn't I? LOL I think as stressful as a move is, this will be a good change for us in the short run. Wish us luck! Anyone out there want to break the news to MIL???

Treading Water

I am not a swimmer, so the fact that I use the above title to describe how I feel right now is no coincidence. My health is doing better physically, but mentally, I feel on the edge all. of. the. time. I wait for the wave that is going to come rushing over my head; I wait to feel myself pulled under in the undertow; I wait to feel so tired, I just stop trying.

MIL has me doing Spring Cleaning. She pronounced that she wanted to get it done, which means I have to get it done. I have been tackling it little by little, but there is a long, long way to go.

We had a gathering this weekend of family and friends. We had planned to do a cookout back when the weather was in the 80's in February, figuring surely the last weekend before May would be nice enough to cook and eat outside. Stupid mortals...

Of course, it was ridiculously cold and rainy, and we had to move the party indoors.  We did karaoke, which was fun for about two hours, then I couldn't wait for it to get over with. I was tired. Bud was tired.

The reason we were so tired was all the pre-party work that went into it.  Had to clean and rearrange the living room to make space for the karaoke equipment. I had to make all the accompanying food to go with the burgers I was cooking on the grill. MIL was calling people for three day to make sure they were still coming and assuring them it was still on, rain or shine.

Back to Spring Cleaning. Part of the cleaning is the storage room, which is a mess.  It happens to be where our life is right now, packed away in boxes. She wants it cleaned out and organized. I don't mind, but it was hard to get at with our karaoke equipment in there as well. Since we had pulled all our karaoke equipment out for the party, I asked if we could leave it set up in the living room a few days so we could tackle the storage room. She said it was okay, but then the day after the party, she announces she wants the equipment out of the living room.

Sooooooo, Bud and I have to scramble and try and get the storage room cleaned and organized and get the equipment out of the living room today. It is an enormous task that should really be tackled over several days, but we have to somehow pull it off today, or MIL will get beyond moody. When she wants something done, it needs to be done, NOW.

I think I need swimming lessons.

Karaoke, Baby!

Though I got canned from my place of employment (er-given the choice to "resign"), I had already planned on throwing my staff a karaoke Christmas party. My employer graciously agreed to allow me to come in post-booting and throw the party. I will also say my good-byes to my staff. They are so going to freak: "Ms. Debra, you CAN'T leave us!" There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth, rending of garments, and rioting in the streets. OK, maybe not rending and rioting, but I am just sayin'...

The highlight is not the food, though it will be awesome, since we are going pot luck, and I have some mighty good cooks on my staff. The highlight of course is karaoke. It brings out the closeted performer in everyone.

We have volunteered several times for the adult foster cares affiliated with Indian Rivers Mental Health in Alabama, and each time, I was brought to tears by seeing the power of music. Those individuals who usually don't say a peep get up and belt out songs from their heart.

Everyone needs a song in their heart--may you have a song in YOUR heart.