Finally got a computer that works. Hope you find employment soon. I was in a Big 5 store a few weeks ago and then in a Penny's and I overheard managers in both stores saying they were looking for older workers. They want people who actually show up and care. Perhaps Bud could do with something even part time. Awful to be so broke for so long. Are you still staying with the other sisterwife whose initial I forgot?
Bud is looking for part time work with no luck. I have filled out approximately 45 job applications, and I am enrolled with Monster.com, EmploymentGroup, and two other employment groups in the area. I finally had two interviews. One needed me to be available 24-7, with no actual promise of hours; the other sounded promising, but I won't hear back until Tuesday. I do know they called all of my references, so that is a good thing, I guess.K is working, but only about 16 hours. B, our other roommate, had her disability hearing and is in the 90 day wait period before she gets a final decision.We still only have one vehicle, so I am driving K to work and picking her up. We were letting her just take the SUV back and forth, since her vehicle (the one we gave her) gave up the ghost. She got in an accident, so I won't let her drive any more. The only thing we asked of her was not to talk on her phone when she drove the car, and we know she was on the phone when she had the accident--she was talking to B at the time it happened.I hate being a taxi cab service, but she is the only source of income other than Bud's disability, which goes toward the trash bill, SUV payment, car insurance, storage fee, and repair bill payment for the SUV, plus gas money. He has been selling off what little we have in an effort to help out with electric and dog food.I have been in a deep dark funk. Spent most of yesterday just crying my eyes out--couldn't stop. The tears just kept on flowing.Not feeling sorry for myself, just desperately sad. Haven't been writing, for fear I will kill the characters off in my depressed state.Sigh. I will get over it--just need a J-O-B!
I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you. Ron's in hospital again. Was supposed to have new defibrillator put in on Friday but ended up in ER instead. The defib is now so weak it's not workable. In hospital for breathing and continual vomiting. Dr says no surgery, wouldn't make it. My back went out so can't visit as much as I'd like.I so hope somebody get a job or more hours or something soon. Even a iittle money is better than nothing. I know I'm not too proud to step way, way down in order to survive. Just lie about your true qualifications and take something requiring no real skill, who cares. I don't mean you in particular, I mean you all, or you in general, the whole population. Let's keep in touch more during this current depression on both sides.
I get your hating to be a soccer mom type with driving duties. I HATE it. The assistant for here requires me picking him up and taking him back every day along with all the other boring short trips I do every day. It works on my personality and mood in extremely negative ways. I'm a bitch if I don't watch it, and sometimes even if I do.
Oh BC, I am sorry to hear that Ron is in the hospital again. You amaze me--I would have collapsed into a pile of goo by now, but you keep going, doing what you have to despite your physical limitations. HE amazes me--his body has been through so much, yet it amazingly keeps holding on.It is so hard to see a loved one suffer, realizing there is truly nothing you can do to make things better. It is like watching a car wreck in slow motion.Sure wish you were closer--I think we could really use each other for support (or just to have a bitch fest).Things have to get better. They just have to.
Oh D I hope you have found a job...You haven't posted in a month so I'm a little concerned. BC so sorry about Ron...you are a very strong woman! Miss talking to you both I will be starting another blog soon. <3
D and new#3, Ron did another stint in hospital, came home and broke his hip. 2nd hip surgery. He's been in rehab not participating so in for return here in bed, including bathroom. Bedpan you know. I need power of attorney and can't get him into car to go anywhere--needs wheelchair van. Im so done. I've nothing left in the tank. That's it. But I have to go on. I so don't want bedpans. God almighty I've gone from great admiration for him to not being able to look at him in a month. I'll delete this soon because I'm so ashamed.
Border Collie,No need to feel ashamed. 24/7/365 caregiving takes it's toll on ANYONE. Believe me, what you are thinking and feeling is normal! D & I both have been burnt out to the max because we had no relief from that sort of full time caregiving. You need a break BC! If you can get someone to come stay even one day a week, that would give you a much needed break. YOUR health is at risk right now and you could really use a break. My heart breaks for you and your husband. May you find some help to give you some much needed time away and strength to carry on. Blessings to you!
So sorry I have been absent for so long. I have been having one long pity party, Shame on me. New #3, I have missed you, too! BC, I second what Bud said above. Don't beat yourself up! What you have been doing is so very, very difficult, and it has been non-stop for you for too long.Wish there was some way I could help you. As it is, I will be leaving for Florida soon, going back into care-giver mode. My step-mom is having back surgery, and my dad is burned out from taking care of her for the last 3 months. I offered--they didn't ask. My dad has never had much patience, so I knew it was something both of them would appreciate. Hang in there as best you can, BC.
Bud, bless you for the kind comments. It means so much. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. And I do hope you get even part-time work very soon. Honestly, I did hear store managers talking about hiring more "older" workers, meaning not teen and twenty somethings. The health care industry is sure booming, although you may not want direct care work, there is always the selling of care options (not insurance, but referrals to caregiving, they pay ok for part time) and driving the wheel chair vans are an option to look at. Heck, anything to put some change in the pocket and get a free feeling in your heart. Thanks again to you and older and wiser (you are lucky to have her). oops darned auto correct insists on spelling of wiser.