Thursday, September 1, 2011

Devil Dog

MIL has a dog named Peanut. As you can see in this picture, she is aptly named, as she is a tiny little dog. She is a Yorkie, but in her current hairstyle, looks more like a chihuahua. She even acts like a chihuahua, shaking for no reason and acting pitiful.

I woke up this morning at 8:30am after being up until 2 frickin' thirty doing homework (which, by the way, is still not complete). Bud and MIL must have left real early, as I appeared to be the only one home.

I took three steps, and then, *squish* right between the toes. The little bugger had left a wet turd right outside the bedroom door. I of course said some choice words and hop-hobbled to the bathroom to wash my foot. On the way, I encountered a turd in the dining room, a turd under the table this laptop sits on, a turd in the kitchen (using "turd" lightly here, as it was more of a liquid mass), a semi-formed turd in the hallway, and a turd in the bathroom. That is an awful lot of turds from one tiny little dog!

After cleaning up all the messes, and after not hearing from hubby or MIL, I decided to call and find out where they were to make sure everything was alright. They were fine, but Bud confirmed that he, too, had cleaned up no less then two piles from the little poop machine.

I must say, I am quite impressed that that much excretion came out of her. I guess I shouldn't be, as she is literally a little shit. I named this post Devil Dog aptly, because I am certain she is a minion of Satan.

She can be the cutest, sweetest dog around. But then, when you least expect it, she becomes evil. It reminds me of the movie Gremlins. Remember those cute little furballs? And what happened when they got wet? Peanut is like a cute little Gizmo, until she gets a wild hair up her butt. Then, watch out. Here are the before and after:

I have taken to calling her queenie,

As she is the queen of the house. She dictates when MIL gets up,
goes to bed, when she will eat, when she wants to be picked up, and her position on MIL's lap. She allows one of the other dogs, Suzie, to get up in the chair with MIL, but she will growl and glare at her to get off of MILs lap and move to the side so she can have the coveted lap position. Look at that evil glow in her eye--possessed, I tell ya. Mind you, our dog, Ghost, could chomp her in one bite. Don't think the thought hasn't crossed her mind, as I have seen the look in Ghost's eye many a time: "I could swallow you whole, you little hefer. Don't mess with me!"

As we speak, she is growling and fussing because I will not take the gate down so she can go into the living room. Sorry, poopy dog, but there is no way I am giving you access to furniture right now...


  1. Fun post!! I hate that squishy between the toe thing...

  2. My aunt Jo always said that stepping in poo made one's feet grow; if that were true, I would wear a size 12 shoe by now...


Livestrong weight tracker

Start your success with the LIVESTRONG.COM calorie calculator.