Sunday, April 24, 2011

Giant Woody

Okay, mind out of the gutter for a moment. On this overcast Easter morning, I was reading all the blogs I follow when I caught sight of something BIG out of the corner of my eye.


The computer is in the kitchen, and there is a glass slider door off to the side. The BIG something was one of these:


I tried to take a picture of it, but the bird was camera shy and I couuldn't get a good shot. Soooo, I went to my source for everything, the World Wide Web, and discovered that the huge woodpecker is, in fact, a Pileated Woodpecker. I learned that over the last 2 centuries, their numbers greatly declined with the increase in logging, but the ingenious birds have learned to adapt and are making a comeback. Yeah!


These birds are beautiful, and I am so glad I got to see one up close. It is larger than a crow, but not as big as the buzzards that seem to be everywhere (ugh).


It is wonderfully quiet right now. Not like 3 hours ago at 6am, when the yipping dog from hell woke me up. Dixie is a bona-fide bitch. She is a shih tzu, but I just call her a shit. Grrrrrrrrrr!


I guess I can't complain, as it got my butt out of bed so that I would be up to see the giant woody. And I had computer time to not only post this post, but to get my essay assignment turned in--yay me!


The honeysuckle is in bloom, so I shant stay mad long. I do get grumpy when I miss my beauty sleep....


Happy Easter, everyone.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Oh How I Love Thee, Grill


Ms. C bought a grill week before last, and I have been a grilling fool. She got the gas/charcoal combo grill, and whoa, baby--I have really broke it in.


We started with T-bone steaks as big as the plate for its inauguration. Next was burgers and dogs. Drunk chicken soon followed, as well as roasted chicken. More burgers and dogs. More steak--ribeyes. We have had corn on the cob on the grill, baked potatoes on the grill, and herbed wheat mini loaves of bread. We had my homemade baked beans, and we have had Bush's Grillin' Beans.


Tonight, it was more drunk chicken, barbecue chicken, grilled squash, grilled cabbage, baked beans, and pasta salad. It was heavenly, I must say.


If you have never made a drunk chicken, you must give it a try. I wish I would have snapped a picture of the birds on the grill. Here is the simple recipe:


Drunk Chicken

1 roasting chicken

1 can beer (cheap is fine--the bird doesn't mind!)

1/4 cup Dales or Moores marinade--or any marinade that floats your boat

1 tablespoon coarsely chopped garlic

1/2 lemon

olive oil

Seasoning salt


Pour 1/2 the beer into a two-cup liquid measuring cup. Add the marinade and garlic. Squeeze the juice of the lemon into the liquid. You could also add some of the zest to take it up a notch, but I don't have a zester at my disposal at the moment.


Drink the remaining beer--you can't waste beer! Pour the contents in the measuring cup into the empty beer can.


To prep the bird, make sure the neckbone and organs are removed from the cavity. Rinse the bird and pat dry. Rub the bird with olive oil, then sprinkle with seasoning salt.


Stand the bird so that the beer can is inserted up its, er, well, its butt. Heh-hem. I know it looks silly, but trust me on this--it needs to be done.


Place the chicken on the grill. The best way is to support the can, then adjust the legs so that they are "balanced" and the bird can stand upright without tipping over. Give 'im a salute. I used the gas side of the grill for this, as it is easier to control the temperature. After igniting the grill, close lid and bring it up to 350 degrees. Adjust the flame so that you can keep the temp at a steady 350 for one hour. Check for doneness using a meat thermometer. Meat should reach 160 degrees. If juices run clear, it is a sure bet it is done as well.


Enjoy!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sharing a Poem or Two


I have a writer trapped inside of me. I have stifled my creativity for so long, I forget it is there sometimes. I have a novel that I haven't worked on in (cringe) two years, and a short story I wrote in my head yesterday while I was sitting outside. CRAZY! The two poems below were "in-my-head" poems as well. I should have written them down while they were still fresh, as the written product is not what the original words were. I tried to recall them, but only was able to come up with the gist of them. Sigh.


Musing on Wisteria

Spring comes, shoulders draped in Wisteria

A vibrant purple wrap upon dancing trees

A youthful playfulness, saying,

"look at me, look at me!"


All too soon, (oh, too soon)

The spring wrap fades to a grey shawl

A mere shadow of what once was

As the Wisteria falls from favor


4/4/11 Weiser


Magenta

And there was a rosebush

It grew by the front porch steps

Much taller than I


I Having never seen it bloom

I waited as the first buds teased

Tight bundles of green


What color bloom lay hidden within?

Red? Yellow? or maybe pink?

Only the rosebush knew


And then--oh my! I see

The first hints of the encapsulated color

No longer hidden from view


Magenta! Not Red or Pink

But a color only worthy of itself

Bursting to greet the day


This rose is not coy-- Not one bit.

It is flashy and sassy

She will not be ignored


Her fragrance is seductive

Not like grandma's toilet water

No, Magenta is sexy


She flirts with everyone

All eyes are drawn to her beauty

A rose so bold


I noticed a subtle change today

Magenta was duller

No longer herself


She drooped on the branch

Struggled to keep her head up

Color draining


No longer smooth and delicate

Petals withered

Defeated


She bowed her head to rest

As the next bloom peeked

To meet the world


4/4/11 Weiser

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Full Moon


Last night was the full moon, and it was perported to be the largest full moon in 19 years. The full moon I saw last night was not.


I walked out of the kitchen yesterday to find Ms. C lathering butt balm on Mr. M's behind. His boney arse was sticking toward the heavens as she slathered it on, its whiteness only surpassed by that of the zinc oxide that covered it in a thick layer.


This poor man has lost every shred of dignity. We have seen every nook and cranny of this man; we have wiped his ass after he takes a dump, we have held his shriveled up pecker while he pees to assure he hits the urinal. We have bathed him, dressed him/undressed him 300 times; we have wiped food off his face that has drippled out the bad side of his mouth. We have cleaned him up and bandaged him after he has fallen and knocked half the skin off of his arm, knee, finger, head....


I feel horrible for him. He is only 61, but when you look at him, you see an old man. Even though he can out-eat us all due to his appetite-inducing pills, he is still a stick-figure.


The chemo turned his hair white--what is left of it. He has a little left, and a few indignant long, stray strands. He still brushes his hair before we go out--really no need, but we silently let him skim the brush over his mostly-bald head.


The stroke has left him limited. He has very little control over his left hand. We often must fish his hand out of gravy, peas, soup, and pancake syrup. Yesterday he gently murmured: "that gravy is hot."


We have watched him drink himself into a stupor. I will not begrudge the man. I would most likely drink myself into a stupor everyday if I had to bear the indignities he has to each morning. He is usually soaked to the bone. He prefers Bud strip him and the bed, get him dressed, get him decent and get him a hot cup of coffee. We do not belittle him for being so wet. Ms. C., on the other hand, delights, I think, in being disgusted with him. She has zero patience with him. Hubby and I fear that when we leave--and it will be soon--she will not be very nice to him.


Mr. M wants to be independent. He stubbornly drove his stick-shift truck, backing it into a junker car in the yard and busting out the headlight. He almost put it in the swamp/pond out front. Every time I turn around, the old/not really old fellow is tottering somewhere, fetching himself a drink, heading out to smoke, or getting an itch to fish.


Fishing was his "thing". Being retired, there really isn't a whole lot to do that doesn't cost a lot of money. Since the strokes and the cancer, Mr. M hasn't been able to do what he loves. Ms. C got a wild hair a few weeks ago because she was sick of seeing Mr. M just sitting there. She said it was nice out and we were going fishing. At first, Mr. M objected, but with her prodding, he agreed to it. What an ordeal that was! It took half the morning to get Mr. M around and loaded into the truck. It is only a little 2-seater, so Ms. C and I followed in her car.


The lake ended up only being accessible by 4-wheel trucks and deer, but Mr. M insisted we could make it up the deeply-rutted (read "canyon-ed") dirt road access. The only option was to throw Ms. C and I in the bed of the truck and go for it. The tailgate doesn't go up, so Ms. C, with her two bad legs, sat on the tailgate and held on to the walker in her lap. (Do you see impending disaster?)


I climbed well into the truck, as I didn't want to be a part of that impending disaster. When we were all loaded, Hubby asked if we were all loaded, and I said yes. He gunned it, and I watched Ms. C being launched out the back of the truck helplessly as I screamed for Bud to stop. There was no stopping, as the access road was over a 40 degree angle, and we had to Baja just to get up to the lake. I screamed to Ms. C that wI would send Bud back for her.


When we got to the lake at the top, it was only then that Bud found out that he had bounced Ms. C out of the back of the truck. He went back down the hill to get her--a good 1/2 mile that seemed a lot longer from the bed of the truck. She had managed to walk about 500 feet up the hillside with her walker. Can you picture it?


Bud got her loaded and brought her up the hill. It wasn't over yet. Mr. M pointed to the cabin and a bank around the opposite side of the lake. "That is where we want to be," he said matter-of-factly. It is here that I must note that neither Bud nor I swim. I am afraid of water of my head. This is a man-made lake. It doesn't gradually get deep; it instantly gets deep. There are signs posted all over "no swimming" and "very deep lake". Special.


Now comes the fun part. To get to the opposite side of the lake, there is a narrow isthmus of land separating the lake from a 300-foot drop-off. Lake of Death on one side; Valley of Death on the other. Perfect!


There is a gate on the other side, and we couldn't tell if it was open or closed. Mr. M said it didn't matter. If it was closed, we would just park at the end and fish, and and then back out. NO. FUCKING. WAY. I volunteered to go walk the 1/4 mile and visually affirm whether or not the gate was open. I kept my eyes on the road or the lake--I didn't want to see the drop on the other side, or I would have been immobilized.


After confirming the gate was open, Bud drove across. I could not watch, nor could I get in the truck. I was paralyzed with fear. Bud obviously made it across in one piece, and we got all the chairs, poles, beers, bait and tackle out of the truck. We moved Mr. M three times before he found a place he felt confident that he could sit and not fall in, yet get a good cast in.


Mr. M could cast just fine, but realized that without use of his left hand, he couldn't hold the pole and reel it in. he did his best by holding the pole between his knees, though. After one cast, he declared he was just going to watch. So, the rest of of grabbed poles and cast out. After 10 minutes, Mr. M says: "We have to go. I have to pee."


Yes, yes, I know, he could have peed right there. I believe it was his way of saying he wasn't having fun and therefore fishing day was over. It took more time to load and unload the truck than was actually spent fishing. It was a beautiful lake. I was actually enjoying myself, once the terror of getting there was behind us. Sigh.


Mike got a wild hair yesterday and wanted to run to town and get Bream hooks, sinkers and fish feed. Good Lord, save us all.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A Day to Ourselves

Hubby and I had a much needed day away. We got a room at a motel in Columbus, left the house around noon, and didn't return until noon the yesterday.

We shopped, we ate a wonderful supper with about 100 other hungry people, snuggled, watch some Big Love, took long soaks in the tub, and SLEPT. Didn't get to sleep in like I wanted, but the bed was HEAVEN--soooooooo comfortable. Didn't wake up achey and stiff like I usually do on the mattress from Hell that we are sleeping on now.

Thank you, my darling, for a wonderful day away!

And more good news: the heart surgeon cut Ms. Carol loose yesterday! She is allowed to drive now, so no more toting her around to appointments. YAY! She get the stitches out tomorrow, and hopefully will be given the thumbs up to do whatever activity she wants.

Mr. Mike got toasted last night. Fell down twice, knocking off a big chunk of skin in the meantime. Mr. Mike does like his beer....

New semester started, and I am hoping that I do better this semester than I did last semester (more later when I get my official grades).

Happy Fat Tuesday, Y'all!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I Must Have the Plague...

Still sick. This sucks much...
The only thing that seems to quell the cough is Nyquil cough, and it made me puke last night, so no more Nyquil (snif!).

I honsestly want to just spend a day in bed and be done with this shit. But that ain't gonna happen...

Hubby, bless his heart, has been a saint. I didn't sleep for crap again yesterday (nor tonight, as the 5am post may hint at), so Bud let me go back to bed after I ran him to the doctor for his blood draw. He made breakfast, did wash, and even did shitty diaper duty. Saint Bud. I love him so!

Last week of this school semester. I had high hopes of having everything done by Friday, but that ain't gonna happen. I need to get out of the sickie fog.

Ugh!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Great Sickie Event of 2011

I wrote this on my "other" blog the last time I had a lingering illness. It seems appropriate, since I am going on day 7 of this crap.....


Ode to Phlegm
At first it was a little tickle,
and then it was a cough.
Then sniffles chasing sneezes,
but that was not enough.
My eyes gooped in the morning,
dried snot upon my face.
Rush to the bathroom hacking,
lift the toilet seat, just in case.
Kleenex by the truckloads,
and NyQuil by the keg,
My lungs have just exploded
something gross upon my leg.
Green and yellow carnage,slimy, icky goo.
Okay, okay you're right dear
I guess I have the flu.

Saturday, September 5, 2009
~D

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